Thought process
by xXBleeding-WingsXx
Summary: How Tony has grown from being an outcast in his family to finding himself a new family. It might seem all over the place and hard to follow, but I wrote it at 2 AM. May continue if a lot of R&R.Hints of TIVA


Anthony D. DiNozzo Jr.

It was a quite a name to live up to. With a father like Senior, Tony was frowned upon for every choice he made. By choosing a State college, he was thought of only as stupid and underachieving. By studying physical education to pursue a career in professional football, he was seen even more so stupid and a stereotypical playboy.

His family were not surprised when his pro-ball career came to a sudden and crashing stop, effectively ending the fighting and starting the gloating and endless "I told you so"'s .

It didn't last long, though. The 'normal' isolation and silence took effect after he announced his new pursuit in the law enforcement career. The non-speaking terms he was forever on with his family made it simpler for his expectations; this included his non-surprise when no-one showed up for his graduation and for his acceptance party into the Police Academy.

Years past and nothing had changed, as per usual, with his relationship with his family. He called an aunt of uncle when the situation demanded his fake "A new baby? Congratulations!" Or the dreaded "My condolences to your loved ones' parting". He never got any "Happy Birthdays" or "I heard you are now a federal agent", so he let them slip away until he conveniently 'lost' their numbers. Not that it would make a difference; they had 'lost' his a long time before that.

It wasn't until the dreaded plague that he was 100% certain his father was even alive, the topic brought up by McGee a while after Kate had passed.

"I didn't see all of Kate's family. Apparently they couldn't make it in time because of their jobs or they lived too far away. Wouldn't you hate that, Tony?"

"Wouldn't happen to me, all my family lives in DC"

"What about your father. Gibbs had to call him when you had plague, and he was on a business trip somewhere in Eastern Europe."

"Was he now? Conrads McGlobal Affairs"

Which effectively ended McGee's prying until later that night when he pulled up Tony's phone records only to see that all outgoing or incoming calls were either business related or to some frat buddies Tony had mentioned on occasion.

The brief phone calls after his Uncle Clive's death briefly haunted Tony at night. The money had been for an apartment near campus and some of his courses during college. They reminded Tony that as an only child to a single parent, his father still didn't care whether he got a proper education and fairly good living conditions.

Although Tony could sometimes be read like an open book, not even the teams' perceptive skills and gut instincts had shown concern to the look that stayed with Tony while he had to figure out how he was going to pay off the IOU's that got him where he was today.

His family drama then took a back seat when the team learned about Ziva's missions for her father, and then the ultimate Number One: Somalia.

The months that followed, Tony had grown somewhat. He had lost someone he cared for who was not blood. Where he thought Kate's death was hard, Ziva outranked it by a land slide. It was during that time that Tony saw himself when he thought of Ziva. She had died alone, fighting for her fathers' approval. He thought of his future, and was shocked at what he would become. He loved the job too much to quit, so he wasn't surprised when he saw a man with graying hair that looked remarkably like him. But all around him was nothing and no-one. He was destined to grow old and die alone. It was that realization that made Ziva's death so hard for him. She had died young and alone. And he could have stopped it.

Upon Ziva's return, Tony began to question his motives for avenging Ziva. Was it because she was his partner and best friend and he felt guilty? Or was it because after all his thoughts of dying alone, he wanted Ziva to be the one to prove him wrong. That she would be the one sitting next to him when he was old and grey. And that was when Tony figured out what he really wanted, and she sat across from him every day.


End file.
